a friend's words

best of luck - I hope you can break through and find some things you absolutely love about life. Our destructive addictions really get in the way of us doing some wonderful things... and we can't see the way clearly to get to them without first removing the obstacles. It's hard, but I think it's VERY worthwhile. Make sure to have help all the way through - people that "will have your back" when it gets rough. Listen to them when they make suggestions and offer distractions to help you fight through your temptation. Even when you don't feel like it. I wish you all the best dude.